”I don’t know about this…” I looked at myself in the mirror, fixing my costume. A random conversation with River had inspired him to put it together, and I was impressed. My hair fell in loose waves at my shoulders, a mustache and goatee growing in on my usually bare face; I wore a black beater and dark pants, a belt with silver fake bullets wrapped around my waist. I slipped on the black leather trench coat River had given me a few days before, a fluffy wolf’s tail sewn onto the back, adjusted my fake fangs, and turned to show River the completed outfit.

”Oh my.” River looked me up and down slowly, licking his lips. I smiled shyly, taking in his costume. Red corset, red petticoat, red cloak, the hood pulled up over his auburn wig; as strange as it sounded, he actually looked good, better than I’d expected. He’d put on a bit of makeup, and the effect was subtle, but striking; he actually looked beautiful>/i>.

”Wow. River, you look… wow.” I bit my lip nervously as he stepped closer, running his fingers through my hair. I leaned into the touch before I could stop myself, laughing nervously and turning back towards the mirror. We fell silent, the noises from the hallway muffled by the door. All over the dorm, room parties were well under way, even though it was only five; but we were headed out to someone’s loft uptown, a friend of a friend of a classmate.

”Ready?” River tousled my hair as he grabbed his red leather purse, slinging it over his shoulder. I laughed at how natural he seemed, and nodded, shoving my wallet and cell in the deep pockets of my coat. I followed him out the door, both of us laughing when my tail nearly got caught. We got stopped a dozen times on the way to our car, laughs and comments and wolf whistles following us the whole way. It was a bit awkward, but I was having fun; the unspoken implication of our matching costumes wasn’t lost on me, but since River hadn’t mentioned it, I decided to follow his lead.

The drive uptown took less time than expected, but it was still almost an hour later when we finally arrived. I was used to long travel times at that point, opting to walk or take public transportation more often than facing Manhattan traffic. River was stubborn, though, saying there was no point in having a car but not driving it.

We were greeted as we came through the door, and I recognized a few faces, either from school or the clubs River and I frequented. We made the first round quickly, winding up in the kitchen, cracking open our first drinks of the evening. Before long, though, we were called in different directions; I knew we would bump into each other plenty of times, though, the apartment not being that big.

I felt a tug on my tail, and laughed, expecting to see River behind me. But instead, it was Tommy holding the piece of fur, smirking at me. He let it slip from his fingers and stepped closer, and I had to blink a few times to be sure I wasn’t seeing things. But it was definitely Tommy, looking just like himself, with the exception of a pink hue to his hair.

”Fancy meeting you here. Where’s little red?” he asked softly; I looked around, not sure if he was making a joke or referring to River, but didn’t wait for an answer. “You look good. Very… intimidating.” There was a teasing tone to his voice, and I mentally berated myself for blushing again. I didn’t understand why I couldn’t just be normal around him; I was shy with River, too, but not nearly as bad.

”What bright eyes you have,” Tommy breathed, taking another step closer. I bit my lip, the fangs sharply pricking the skin, making me wince. “And what big teeth you have. I wonder how sharp they are…”

Tommy backed away, nodding his head behind him. He turned and started walking, and as always, I had no choice but to follow. Big Bad Wolf indeed… I felt more like a pathetic lapdog. My eyes flitted around the apartment, searching for any sign of River, but I couldn’t see him; whether that comforted me or worried me, I couldn’t be sure. Tommy led us to a bedroom, and the growing knot in my stomach doubled in size.

”Figured it’d be quieter in here, so we could… talk.” Tommy pushed the door mostly closed, leaving it open just a crack. My eyes followed him as he sat on the bed as if he owned it, smirking at me as I stood frozen. He beckoned me closer, and though my conscience was beginning to whine, I joined him on the bed.

”We never got to finish what we started, you know.” Tommy leaned back on the bed, one hand behind his head, the other tracing patterns on my leg. I swallowed past the lump in my throat, torn between wanting to look away, and wanting to see what his eyes would reveal. The latter won, and I was only mildly surprised at the blatant desire I was met with. I was suddenly aware of how young and inexperienced I was, and it was almost enough for me to run away, figurative and literal tail between my legs.

Tommy tugged on my coat sleeve, pulling me closer but not moving. He wanted me to make a move this time, it seemed. I took a shallow breath, bracing myself and mentally sending up a prayer as I leaned over and pressed my lips to his. If my inexperience bothered him, he never showed it; I felt him smile against my mouth as we kissed. His fingers gripped my hair lightly, and I felt his tongue brush against my bottom lip.

I couldn’t stop the light moan from escaping as I let him deepen the kiss, but before I even had a chance to feel embarrassed, it was echoed by one of his. The low sound reverberated between us, and I felt my body react instantly. His hand on my leg moved up and down my thigh languidly, making me squirm. I lifted a shaking hand, placing it similarly on his leg; he moaned again, his hand covering mine, pressing my touch more firmly.

He wasn’t holding back, but he wasn’t rushing, either. I was sure he knew how new this was for me, and he seemed to be okay with taking it a bit slower than he was probably used to. He broke the kiss, his mouth descending on my neck, covering it in kisses, licks and nips. I tried to contain the moans and whimpers, but each one made him bite a little harder, grip me a little firmer, so my efforts weren’t whole-hearted.

I moved my hand up, my fingers just brushing the skin of his waist, and I heard him suck in a breath. He pulled back suddenly, peeling his snug shirt off and smirking at me before claiming my mouth again. He pushed my coat off my shoulders, pulling up on my tank top as soon as my arms were free. I stopped his hands, closing my eyes for a moment and catching my breath. I was terrified of seeing anger in his eyes, but when I looked, there was nothing but understanding, with only a tiny hint of annoyance.

”I’m sorry… I…” I stammered, trying to find the way to explain, but he shook his head, leaning over to plant a surprisingly tender kiss on my lips. His fingers brushed my cheek, and I smiled with relief. When he pulled back, he let out a breath, shaking his head lightly. He opened his mouth to speak, but the sound of the door creaking drew both our attention. All I saw was a flash of red, but somehow I knew who it’d been, and I felt an icy stab in my chest.

”I… I have to go.” I stood quickly, throwing my coat back on and smoothing my hair down. I looked back at Tommy to apologize, but he held up a hand.

”Don’t. It’s okay.” He smiled reassuringly at me, leaning back on the bed again and pulling out a cigarette. I smiled at him sadly, feeling truly torn. “I’ll see you, Zac.” Once again, it was a statement, not a question. I nodded, feeling an almost physical pain as I tore myself away, heading out into the hall.

I searched the apartment for River, but without luck. I even asked around, but no one had seen him in a while. I started to worry that he’d left; I had a sinking feeling that I’d hurt him somehow. We weren’t together, but all the same, it was starting to feel like I’d cheated. Finally, I heard his voice behind me.

”Hey.” He was leaning against the wall, beer in hand; his wig and cloak were gone, and he’d wiped off his makeup, but he still looked amazing; somehow, the contrast between the feminine outfit and his masculine features made a twisted sort of sense. His eyes didn’t have their usual life, though, a barely concealed sadness seeping through the half-hearted mask.

”River. I… I was looking for you.” River nodded, smirking, but there was no joy in it. The icy pain in my chest returned twofold, and I stepped closer. I reached out a hand to brush against his arm, but he shied away, concealing the gesture by taking a long sip of his drink. He emptied the bottle, pushing away from the wall.

”I’m gonna head back to the dorm; not really having a good night,” he muttered, not meeting my eyes. I nodded, holding out my hand; he tossed me his keys, and we called out our goodbyes before heading out to the car. The ride back was silent and tense, the unease I felt not getting any better when we got to our room. We got ready for bed in silence, River refusing to meet my eyes.

”You know,” River said softly as we both lay in our beds, surrounded in darkness. “You could have just told me you two hooked up. I’m happy for you; I just wish you would’ve told me.” River was staring at the ceiling, his expression unreadable. He was never guarded, always laid his emotions out to bare, and it physically hurt to see the wall being put up between us.

”River…” My voice broke slightly, but he turned over to face the wall, his message clear. For the first time since I’d moved in, we didn’t say goodnight to each other; it was a small thing, but the implications dug into me painfully. I’d hurt him, badly; I hadn’t meant to, but it was obvious that things would be different between us. Maybe he would get over it, but the pain in his voice was all I could think of as I wrestled with sleep, my pillow growing damp as the guilt pulled me under.