Changing the Mirage
Chapter 11"That’s not true!" Shane protested.
"It’s so true. The way you grabbed his head and was thrusting your hips, I thought you were just going to drop your pants and start fucking his face," Rizzo replied.
"In my defense," he looked over at Taylor, who had an amused grin on his face. "I was a little drunk."
"Just drunk?"
"Fine…I may have had an illegal substance-"
"Or two,"
"In my system. But I’m older and more mature, and I can have fun without resorting to such behavior," he defended proudly.
"And we did have fun."
"Yes we did," they both laughed. "But no worries, when we go for break you’ll have just as much fun."
"What…what are you talking about?" Taylor questioned, not following the turn in conversation.
"Fall break. We go every year."
"Oh…oh okay. Cool," he replied, unconvincingly. They all exchanged worried looks before Shane finally raised his eyebrows, in hopes he’d explain his lack of enthusiasm. "I didn’t know you all had plans," he bit his lip. "Like…a tradition for fall break, I mean."
"I’m still not following…" he spoke slowly.
"I kinda made plans for us…as a surprise…"
"You what?" he smiled slightly.
"There’s a little bed and breakfast by the river. I made us reservations. I know you’ve been really stressed about school. And I know having me as a boyfriend doesn’t decrease your stress any," he paused as Shane laughed. "So I figured we could hide away for the weekend and not have to worry about anything," he shrugged. Shane looked over at Rizzo who shared his smile. "Surprise."
"That’s really thoughtful,"
"I was trying to be but, I mean, I look forward to watching you drop your pants and fuck another guy’s face. I won’t even act like a jealous girlfriend. Scouts honor," he held up two fingers. Shane leaned in and pressed their lips together.
"It’s three fingers baby. Even I know that," Rizzo corrected, shaking his head. "You’re off the hook. Both of you,"
"What? No," Taylor began to protest.
"No…it’s okay. Have your weekend alone together. We’ll manage without you two, right?"
"Are you sure?"
"I am," Shane smiled.
"Only because you have him smiling like that," he replied, standing from the table. Taylor wondered if Shane’s smile mirrored the happiness he, himself, felt inside because for the first time he was able to make his significant other happy.
"Are you going to help me pack or what?"
"Or what?" Shane responded not taking his eyes from the ceiling. It was fall break and Taylor had decided to make a last minute trip home. Although they had originally made plans to spend the break together, when his mom found out she had successfully guilt tripped him into changing his plans. Again.
"Are you at least going to take me to the airport?"
"I can do that. Packing is against my religion."
"Vacation. Planning. Clothes. Planning outfits. You’re gay. I thought that was part of the gay man’s Ten Commandments."
"Taylor, I’ve seen your ascot collection. You will always be gayer than me pumpkin," he opened his mouth to protest, but just shrugged his argument away. "So how long are you going to be gone again?"
"Just through the weekend,"
"That seems like too long for us to be apart from one another," he teased.
"I thought you’d be ready to get rid of me for a few days."
"Under normal circumstances," he turned on his side so he could see him.
"Why aren’t these normal circumstances this time?"
"I’m going to be here all by my lonesome with nothing to do," he whined, sticking his bottom lip out for effect. Taylor smiled and leaned in slowly to kiss Shane, but stopped short just as their lips were about to touch.
"You’ll survive," he smiled before kissing him quickly.
"Okay," he scoffed, getting up from the bed. "Have fun on your trip, Taylor," he spoke leaving the room.
"Where’re you going?" Taylor called out following him.
"Going to find something to do so I’ll survive," he angrily opened the door. He started to walk out but stopped and turned back to face Taylor. "You know Tay, I get it. I didn’t want to…and I definitely didn’t want to see it but this…here…I don’t know what to think."
"What are you talking about?"
"Are you ashamed of me?"
"What?" Taylor questioned exasperatedly, throwing his arms out in front of him. "No. Why would you even ask that? What would even make you think that?"
"Do your parents know about us?"
"Yea," he answered hesitantly.
"Do they know how serious we are? Really?" Taylor bit his lip, not wanting to answer. But he didn’t need to. Shane had his answer. "That’s what I thought. You know, my only family is my friends. They’re all I have. I changed my plans with them so I could spend this break with you, then you change plans and leave me. And now I’m stuck here by myself because you refuse to let your parents see just how gay you really are. A gay man, who’s in a gay relationship with his gay boyfriend. I don’t care how you try to flip it. Taking me to meet your family isn’t flaunting it in their face. You may not be ashamed to be a gay man but you’re definitely ashamed to be in a gay relationship. And that makes you ashamed to be with me."
"Shane,"
"I don’t wanna hear it," he rolled his eyes, slamming the door on his way out. Taylor started toward the door but stopped when he heard the chimes to the clock going off. Despite his desire to go after him, he only had a little time to catch his flight. And although he tried to dismiss Shane’s words and accusations, there wasn’t a shred of untruthfulness in them. He unpacked the books he had in his carry on. There was no point in taking them when he knew his words would be on his mind the entire flight.
~~~
"How was your flight?" His dad questioned as they made their way out of the airport parking lot. Taylor grunted in response before forcefully pulling his visor down. "Okay," he drew the word out. "How is your boyfriend?" he teased in a sing song voice. "Okay," he repeated, just as he had the first time, when Taylor shot him a look.
"We kinda got into an argument. He’s mad at me."
"What did you do?" he questioned knowingly.
"I didn’t do-" but he was immediately cut off by the look his father gave him. "We had plans, as you know. And after mom’s phone call there was no way I couldn’t not come home…even if I had told her, she wouldn’t understand. And…I don’t know. I guess he had been dropping hints, that despite the fact that our plans had been scratched, that he wouldn’t be above coming to Tulsa with me…especially since all of his other friends went somewhere else. And his mom has basically disowned him," he explained biting his lip.
"Wait…so your boyfriend hints that he’d like to come home and meet your family, and spend time with you because he doesn’t have family or a home to go home to, and you just…leave him?" Saying it out loud made it hit home even more how much he’d really hurt Shane’s feelings. And he knew his dad’s next words weren’t going to bring him any comfort.
"Well, when you say it like that-"
"It makes you seem like a royal douche?" he interrupted.
"If he wanted to come why didn’t he just say that?"
"He’s supposed to invite himself? Seriously?"
"Crap,"
"Mmmhmmm,"
"Fuck,"
"Yes," he gave a simple, firm nod. "And watch your mouth."
"Dad, he accused me of being ashamed of him," he whispered after a good amount of silence had entered the car.
"Well…are you?"
"No," Taylor shook his head. "This is just…new to me. My last relationship-"
"This isn’t your first relationship?"
"Exactly. It was just so screwed up; the sneaking and hiding and…everything. I haven’t been able to be openly happy with anyone. What if I don’t know how to do this?"
"Taylor," he looked over at him as he stopped at the red light. "Your life is…a silhouette. We, your mom and I, gave you an outline, drew a line consisting of what your life can be. It’s up to you to fill it in. And you can fill it in with whatever or whomever you want. And figuring those things out, you make it the life you actually want it to be."
"Thanks dad," he smiled. "You are as wise as you are grey," he teased.
"Your mom still digs it," he smiled.
"Ugh, dad," Taylor made a face showing his disgust.
"Who’s got jokes now," he boasted, laughing as he eased back in with the flow of traffic.
"So you’re here for three days and the only time I get to spend with you is for a cup of coffee right before you’re to board a plane?" Mykhail teased.
"Um…it’s not my fault it was your weekend to work. Or that you refused to call in," he retorted.
"Yea, yea," she rolled her eyes. "So, how is everything…really?" she questioned after several seconds of silence had set into their conversation.
"School is great," he replied causing her to shot him a look. "Well, it’s school. I mean, I’m working toward what I want to become that makes it easier to deal with," she nodded, fully understanding his explanation.
"And the other stuff…"
"Shane is…great. He’s completely mad at me right now and probably has reason to be. But as far as a boyfriend to me, he’s amazing. I probably don’t deserve him," he remarked.
"Well, you don’t deserve an amazing best friend either," she shrugged. "But sometimes the universe gives us better than we deserve," she smiled with fake modesty. Taylor stared at her for a few seconds before finally letting a laugh come through. "But why is he mad at you?" she questioned, taking the conversation back in a serious direction.
"What do you want to touch on first? The fact that he’s mad that I won’t "receive" or that he thinks I’m ashamed of him?"
"I’m…not even going to go anywhere near the first conversation," she shook her head. "But I think you know what it’s like to be with someone who’s ashamed of you. And," she spoke louder when he opened his mouth to say something. "I think you know what it looks like and whether you’re doing it or not. I just don’t think you expected him to call you on it."
"True and true," he whispered, sighing.
"You know how to be a good boyfriend, Tay."
"Speaking of boyfriends, what’s up with you and this mystery guy?"
"I like him. He likes me," she shrugged. He gave her a smile that encouraged her to elaborate. "I think it could go somewhere…where I don’t know…but somewhere. Somewhere maybe good," she nodded.
"So do I get to know anything about him…like, who he is?"
"Well," she rubbed her forehead, a nervous chuckle escaping her mouth.
"It’s not George, is it?"
"What?"
"Because I don’t care if he is married with children, I know for a fact he’s gay."
"Taylor-"
"He let me fuck him in the ass a high number of times for him not to be," he whispered.
"You think I’d fuck your gay ex boyfriend? Seriously?"
"Well then tell me who he is," he chuckled. He watched a serious expression, splash across her face. And he couldn’t help but mimic her as her eyes darted across his face in search of some answers. "Khail," he whispered. She finally opened her mouth to speak but as soon as she did, the airport attendant came over the speaker to announce the next flight information. "That’s me," he spoke, his tone still soft.
"Yea,"
"And I still have to get through security so…"
"Just hope they don’t want to give you a cavity search," she teased causing him to cringe.
"Come here," he pulled her into a hug. "You’ll call me and tell me your mystery man’s name?"
"I’ll tell you next time I see you," she smiled after they separated.
"Four days," he smiled as he began slowly walking toward the security gate. "I don’t know if I can wait that long," he teased.
"It’ll be here before you know it," she waved. He blew her a kiss before turning and hurrying in the right direction. Thankfully, he’d chosen a late, late flight when he knew less people would be there. He glanced back at Mykhail as security patted him down. He couldn’t shake the feeling or distance between them. But as he thought of the time they’d get to spend together soon, he hoped it would relieve it.