Changing the Mirage
Chapter 13"Woof arf you dufin ere?" Taylor popped out of Shane’s bedroom, questioning around a mouth full of strawberry.
"I live here," he spoke slowly.
"You’re early."
"We were slow at work," he stood there still unsure of why he was in his apartment. "What are you doing here?" Taylor swallowed the contents in his mouth and slowly shut the bedroom door the rest of the way.
"Nothing," he answered trying to seem innocent.
"Was that really supposed to make me not look in there?" he raised an eyebrow.
"Can we talk…really talk?"
"Yea, I can handle talking," He nodded and walked to his outstretched hand. He gladly accepted it as he led him into the bedroom. Shane looked at the dozens of candles lit around the room, the rose petals strewn across the floor and bed and the tray of fruit and wine by the bed. "What is all this?"
"I wanted to surprise you."
"I’m surprised."
"And I wanted to try to make some things up to you. A lot has happened the last few weeks. And things have just been so…messed up and…I mean it’s my fault. I know this. I’m not denying that by any means. I think what I finally realized is that…you’re on my side," he smiled. "And I’ve never had that. I’ve never had anyone, who I was in a relationship with, who had my best interest at heart. And you never asked me for more than I was ready for or could handle. But I never gave that back to you. When Mykhail was here, you told me to be happy for her…you knew it’d serve me better in the end if I was. Not just her, Zac too. And because I was so hard headed and didn’t listen, both of them are mad at me. But I think the main thing I need to apologize for, is for not taking you home with me on fall break."
"Tay-"
"No, let me finish. This humble pie doesn’t taste good and I’d rather eat it quickly than prolong it," he sighed causing Shane to chuckle some. "I realized I hurt you by bailing on you. But I realize a bigger part of my hurting you was because I didn’t invite you home. And I think it was only partially related to you being my boyfriend," Shane raised his eyebrows questioningly. "I don’t mean this in an arrogant way but…I guess now I see another reason why you’d want to come home. Maybe you wanted to see what my supportive family looks like. I mean, we have such different paths with how our families dealt with our sexuality…that knowing that they accepted me means that they’ll accept you too?"
"Maybe," he shrugged. "I need to apologize too. I overreacted to you not inviting me. I mean, it’s an invitation. And I really wouldn’t want it any other way except for you to ask me. I shouldn’t have made it seem like you had to. You shouldn’t have,"
"No, I should have invited you. I talked you out of something with your friends then bailed on you at the last minute. But that kinda brings me to my next point…" he trailed off.
"Okay,"
"I want you to come to Tulsa with me for Thanksgiving."
"Tay-"
"No…really. I want you to come. I want you to meet my parents and siblings. I want to show you the high school I got terrorized in," he chuckled. "I want to show you my world. You’re a part of my world and it’s time I share it with you. I want to share it with you."
"Okay," he bit his lip, holding back a smile.
"Really?"
"Yea, really," he replied, excitement in his voice.
"Great,"
"So…this is…" he trailed off trying to choose his adjective correctly. "Nice…" Shane nodded. "What exactly were you planning?"
"Chocolate covered strawberries, massage, making love. Totally gay stuff." he laughed slightly, a blush creeping into his cheeks. "It’s okay. You can admit it."
"I’ll plead the fifth," he chuckled taking in the room again. "But can we skip the strawberries and massage and get right to the making love part?" Shane spoke, a devious grin on his face.
"Well, I was trying to take it slow. Ease my way back into your good graces."
"You never left them Tay."
"I should have. Thank you…for being patient with me," he caressed his cheek.
"So do you think I’m that easy…that strawberries, a massage and sex would get you back into my good graces?" he questioned as they slowly began to undress one another.
"Didn’t matter what I thought, you’re apparently easier because you opted out of two of them."
"Well…I am a man," he shrugged.
"Yes, you are."
"What if I worked a manual labor job and I was all sweaty right now?"
"I’d wash your sweaty balls then proceed to have my way with you," Taylor smiled simply as he unbuttoned Shane’s pants. He slid his pants and boxers down in one smooth motion, leaving them in a heap at his feet to step out of. "Ready for me?" he bit his lip, looking up at Shane from his kneeling position in front of him.
"You have that affect on me."
"Good," he replied before licking his tongue the length of his erection. "I love you Shane."
"I love you," he breathed as he began his slow, gentle sucking on the head of his penis.
"Do you trust me?" Taylor questioned, kissing his way up his abdomen to his chest.
"Of course I do," Shane took the sides of his face, gently in his hands to look into his eyes. He wanted him to see his sincerity. He wanted him to trust his words.
"Sit," he motioned toward the bed. He slowly removed the rest of his clothing before planting himself between Shane’s legs. "I want to make you feel good," he whispered, kissing him softly on the mouth. "You trust me to make you feel good," he spoke between kissing, as his hand worked his erection.
"Yea," he breathed. He continued his assault of gentle kisses to his mouth and neck as he slowly entered him. He began his slow thrusting just the way he always preferred. Tonight was about him on every level; making him feel good physically; allowing him to finally feel the love he held for him; showing him his trust on every level.
"More," he grabbed his hand and gripped his hip, encouraging him to stroke faster and thrust harder. Taylor’s breathing was becoming choppier as he steadied himself. He could feel his climax approaching and didn’t want to come too soon. Tonight being about Shane, he wanted to get him off first.
He quickly removed his hand and pulled out of him slowly.
"Tay," he slowly propped himself up on his elbows. "What is it?"
"I’m ready," he positioned himself so he was straddling him.
"You don’t-"
"I trust you too," he spoke. And before Shane could protest anymore, he’d taken him back in his hand and began descending on his penis; his movements slow and careful. This time so he wouldn’t hurt or overwhelm himself. But soon it didn’t matter. There was no pain, only pleasure; heavy labored breathing as they began to rock in unison, a thrust being met by his own backward momentum; their moans filling the air with each forward movement, like a well rehearsed symphony; each moan lining up and coinciding with a thrust. His motions were firm and precise eliciting another moan and enticing him to go harder, deeper. Taylor’s mouth opened in a soundless pleasure that wouldn’t verbalize. But as Shane’s fingers slowly wrapped themselves around him and began stroking slowly, his voice reappeared as he cried as the euphoria took over his body completely. His pleasure filled cries where soon joined by Shane’s ecstasy ridden moans and grunts.
As their bodies slowly began to come from the high they’d created, their soft declarations of love and sensual passion for one another weighed heavy in the air. It soon became more real to Taylor that this was what it felt like to love someone; really love them and have them love you in return. It wasn’t stressed or hurtful or even something worth fearing. Not necessarily perfect but not harmful. And when right, it turns out right.