Changing the Mirage
Chapter 2"Right here will be good," Taylor spoke to the cab driver. He had been speaking more and more frequently to Shane and his friends over the past few weeks; usually whenever he managed to see him and his friends on campus, but mostly Shane through text messages. And he had decided to take him up on his offer to hang out. He knew the nights they frequented BB Kings and decided he’d surprise him one night. He didn’t want to commit because he didn’t want to run the risk of backing out of it at the last minute. He knew if he did he’d have to explain why he couldn’t go. He didn’t want to lie, but the truth wasn’t something he wanted to get into with him either. So after going over all the options he felt he had, he decided to just show up. He just prayed they hadn’t spontaneously decided to go somewhere else or do nothing at all.
He quickly paid the driver and gave his thanks before stepping out of the cab. He looked up at the neon lights making the sign glow. There was no doubt he was in the right place. Even if the sign wasn’t lit up brightly, the jazz music making its way out of the club confirmed it. Being the only jazz club on the strip, it was hard to miss with the different contrast of country music coming from the other places. He took a deep breath before walking to the door and being immediately met by a security guard.
"I.D. please," the overly large man, gruffly demanded. Taylor swallowed hard, feeling nervous as he examined his I.D. and looked at him. He couldn’t help but wonder if it was really his I.D. "Enjoy the music and food, and have a good night." He spoke handing Taylor back his card.
"Thanks," Taylor smiled. He was sure he was just being his version of polite but he almost felt like it was an order. As if there would be some type of severe punishment if he didn’t. He shook his head, dismissing his silly thoughts. He took a few more steps inside, hoping to get a better view of the dark club. He scanned across the room and quickly found the table Shane and his friends were occupying.
"Do you need some help?"
"Oh no, I found who I was looking for," he pointed to the table. He let the waitress pass before continuing to his destination. He sent a quick ‘thank you’ out into the universe that they were actually there. A wave of nervousness quickly began setting in as he wondered if his presence would be a welcome one. He tried to shake it off as he remembered Shane’s words of it being an invitation without an expiration date.
"Hey," Taylor greeted everyone at the table.
"Hey!" They all looked up from their different conversations and greeted him enthusiastically.
"You came?" Shane smiled standing up. He grabbed a chair and sat it beside him.
"Well, um," Taylor started making his way around. "I had an offer I couldn’t refuse." He smiled, glancing at Shane as he took his seat.
"Wow," Shane smiled, shaking his head. He was taken aback by his choice of words. He considered it a compliment. He could tell Taylor was reluctant about spending time with him, so the fact that he was out with him just added to the good night he was having. "Okay," he shook his head, trying to gather his thoughts. "Do you want a drink? Food?"
"Um…something to drink would be okay. No food."
"Are you sure?"
"Oh yea, I’ve already eaten."
"Cool," he replied motioning for the waitress. She took his drink order then quickly disappeared. They weren’t too involved in conversation when she came back with it.
"Can I get you guys anything else?" she questioned looking at Taylor in particular.
"What about some dessert?"
"Oh no, that’s okay," he shook his head.
"No…they have this amazing Frozen Chocolate-Covered Cappuccino Crunch Cake."
"Say that five times fast," Taylor joked. They all began to immediately try to say it five times fast. He couldn’t help but chuckle at them.
"You have to try some," Shane smiled sweetly at him.
"Um…"
"Come on," he playfully coaxed.
"I’m pretty full. I don’t think I can eat any dessert."
"Well you won’t have to by yourself. We can share it. It’s big enough for all of us to have just a few bites and be totally satisfied."
"Uh…okay, fine." He finally relented.
"Awesome," Shane smiled. "One Frozen Chocolate-Covered Cappuccino Crunch Cake…seven forks,"
"Coming right up," she returned his smile and quickly disappeared as she had before.
"I’m glad you came."
"You’re forcing me to eat a chocolate and cappuccino cake so…so am I," Taylor teased causing everyone to laugh.
"You remember everyone right?"
"Um…yea, I think so," Taylor nodded, scanning their faces again. He hoped they wouldn’t ask him to recite their names from memory. He had only met them once and barely talked to them during that time. He knew there was no way.
"Good, you’re going to have a pop quiz on it later," Rizzo teased.
"I’ll pass," Taylor smiled confidently. Although he wasn’t sure he could remember anyone else, he definitely remembered Rizzo. If for no other reason than because of his quips about him being so gay he could sense it from anywhere.
"I think I may like him," Rizzo smiled. Taylor gave a playfully modest shrug causing him to laugh again.
"Did you tell me you were from here?"
"Um…no," Taylor replied taking his attention back to Shane. "I’m originally from Oklahoma. Tulsa, Oklahoma actually,"
"How did you end up here from Tulsa?"
"Um…I got a scholarship. It was the only one I got that would cover all of my tuition and school expenses. My first choice of a school cost way too much for my parents to be able to afford to send me to, in addition to taking care of a house filled with five younger siblings; One who is in college and another who’s about to be in a few years. Not to mention, my oldest brother is in college as well."
"Holy fuck, you have six other siblings?"
"Yea," Taylor laughed. "I’m the second oldest. And there are five under me…with a wide range of ages."
"Holidays must be fun at your house," Shane spoke smiling slightly.
"Every day is an adventure at my house. Sometimes I wish I were an only child but…I doubt my life would be nearly as full…literally and figuratively."
"Trust me. You don’t wish you were an only child. I mean I’m not an only child or anything, but I still always wished I had another brother."
"Or older sister to give him guy advice," the girl Taylor recognized as Dot spoke.
"That would have been helpful," Shane shrugged. Taylor couldn’t help but laugh. He never had a group of friends who shared as many jokes and such well spirited camaraderie as they did. He had his best friend of course, but he didn’t have five best friends. Although he wouldn’t trade in the one he had, for anything in the world. She was almost everything to him. They had been through so much and she had supported his every decision and was the constant comfort he needed whenever things were shitty. When he had officially come out, a lot of the people who called themselves his friends had abandoned him. It was a lot cooler to be with the crowd that hated the gay guy than to be friends with the gay guy.
"You okay?" Shane questioned, gently touching Taylor’s shoulder. He had been caught in a daze and suddenly became quiet.
"Oh…yea, just thinking," he chuckled slightly. Shane raised his eyebrows, silently questioning him to continue. "Um…my best friend. You all are super close. It just makes me miss her."
"Where is she at?"
"She goes to the Oral Roberts University."
"That sucks."
"Majorly…well, no. I mean, it’s a great school. She gets to do what she wants there. She’s working toward her goals. But…I’m selfish and would love for her to be here so…yea, it sucks." He laughed.
"Well, this will not replace your best friend, but it will definitely make you feel better." Shane grinned as the waitress brought their dessert. They passed forks to one another as she sat the cake in the middle of the table. They all seemingly ignored her when she told them to enjoy.
"Are you ready to have a mouth orgasm?"
"Um…yea," Taylor laughed. They all slowly dug in, each getting a small piece. Each person held on to theirs, letting Taylor eat his first. He let the creamy ingredients swirl and melt around in his mouth before finally swallowing.
"Good?" Shane questioned, his eyes lighting up.
"That’s the best thing my mouth has ever tasted," Taylor replied, savoring the last little bit before swallowing it. "Food," he quickly corrected. The rest of the group looked at each other and immediately burst into laughter. "No," Taylor shook his head, already knowing what they were thinking. "I just meant that…the way I said it…it just sounded…forget it," he finally laughed adding to the laughter that was already surrounding him. He knew there was no talking himself out of that.
"That may be the best thing I’ve heard in a long time,"
"I have to ask," Rizzo began.
"No, you don’t," Taylor interrupted him. From the brief time he’d hung out with him, he knew what the question was going to be.
"It’s okay. I’ll get Shane to find out later and tell me," he smirked, finally eating his piece. Taylor looked over at Shane who shrugged innocently.
"That’s how it’s going to be. I’ve only known you all a few weeks and I already need some new friends," Taylor shook his head, pretending to be hurt. "What?" he questioned as they were all looking at one another and smiling. "What did I say? Did I say something else wrong?"
"No no," Shane shook his head. "We’re glad you consider us friends,"
"Oh…well…"
"You can’t take it back now, sweetie. You’ve labeled us. You’re stuck with us," Rizzo teased causing everyone to laugh. Taylor looked around the table. He was glad he considered them friends as well. He had never been good at making or keeping them.
~~~
"What’s your major?" Shane questioned as he and Taylor walked along the sidewalk. They had just left the restaurant and Shane had offered to walk him home. Taylor was going to take a cab but decided he wanted the company for an extended amount of time. He wasn’t quite use to not having someone to talk to in person so he was trying to take advantage.
"Music composition and theory," he nodded.
"Wow…so you felt right at home at the restaurant?"
"I wouldn’t say that."
"All those great musicians. You’re one yourself."
"I’m an aspiring musician, although I doubt it’ll ever be anything but an aspiration." He shrugged.
"Why do you say that?"
"Just because…nothing in my life has ever worked out that perfectly. I can’t believe this will either."
"How are you so pessimistic?"
"I’ve never had anything come along to make me optimistic; that one thing where I stop and take notice. And I’m like ‘Yes, this is hope. This is what I’ve been waiting for.’"
"You will," he spoke confidently.
"Why are you so freaking optimistic?"
"I guess I just always believe that life has a way of working itself out and if I do my part, then it’ll work out for the good."
"That’s interesting philosophy. Very fortune cookie-ish."
"Stick with me. There’s a lot more fortune cookie wisdom where that came from," Shane boasted. Taylor couldn’t help but laugh. Despite his initial reservations about hanging out with him, he was proving a lot of his worries wrong.
~~~
"Well, this is me," Taylor pointed to his apartment building.
"Cool," Shane stopped in front of it.
"I had fun tonight…a lot of fun actually."
"Good. I’m glad."
"Thank you for inviting me. I’m not really a social butterfly."
"Never would have guessed that," he held back a smile. Taylor playfully pushed him pretending to be offended. "But you know…I had a few ulterior motives for inviting you right?"
"What?"
"I wanted…want to get to know you. You’re clearly attractive. And you’ve had my attention from the first day you tapped my shoulder in the court for directions. When I saw you at the cooking class I just took it as a sign," he shrugged. Taylor stood in silence just staring at Shane. He was unsure of really what to say or how to go about beginning to respond to that. "I like getting to know you Taylor. I’d like to get to know you even more. But, you know, outside of a group setting. I’d like to take you on a date."
"Um,"
"I think we could have fun together. I know we can. We already do. But I guess I just want to get to know you on another level…a different one than my friends know you on."
"Our friends," Taylor whispered unable to think of anything else to say.
"You don’t have to say yes, obviously. I won’t beg or harass…"
"Ask me properly," Taylor interrupted.
"What?"
"You technically haven’t asked me so…if you ask me properly, I’ll give you an answer."
"Okay," he nodded. "Taylor Hanson, will you go out on a date with me?" he questioned, holding back yet another smile.
"Um…" Taylor began. He felt like a deer caught in headlights. He had forced him to ask him properly, now words left him to be able to respond properly.
"Look Tay, you don’t have to say yes. I don’t know the reasons you’re hesitant but clearly you are. I just…I thought it’d be nice. I like you. I want to get to know you more. But if it’s only one sided, don’t do me any favors by saying yes," he replied softly.
"Okay," Taylor nodded. There was something about his words, the sincerity in everything that radiated from him. He couldn’t not say yes.
"Okay, goodnight. I’ll see you later. Don’t feel like we can’t still hang out just as friends. We can," Taylor couldn’t help but laugh. He probably had every reason to not know that he was actually saying yes to his invitation, and not in agreement that he didn’t want to go on a date.
"Yes, I will go out with you Shane McKenna." Taylor made himself clear.
"Really?" Shane smiled slightly. Taylor bit his lip and nodded.
"Really," he shrugged. "I like spending time with you too. And I am everything you said, about being hesitant and all that. But…I’m going to do my part and see what the universe gives me back in return," he smiled. Shane couldn’t stop the smile from consuming his face.
"This has turned into an even better night. I’ll see you Friday…at seven thirty."
"Looking forward to it"
"I’ll pick you up."
"So I don’t have to walk?" Taylor laughed.
"My mother raised me to be a gentleman," he smiled.
"Good mother."
"She had her moments," he answered, backing up slowly. "Goodnight Mr. Hanson."
"Goodnight Shane McKenna," Taylor waved, walking backwards in the direction toward his apartment. He didn’t want to be the first to turn around or break eye contact, but he knew he was approaching the porch. And he thought it better to break eye contact than fall over and break a bone. Then he wouldn’t get to go on their date. He gave another small, quick wave before finally turning around and heading into his apartment. He took a deep breath and gladly released it. He wasn’t sure why he had agreed but something in him was at peace with saying yes. He didn’t know if this would be different or turn out like all the rest, but for now he was just going to focus on getting to know this really cool, potentially good guy. The rest, he’d let the universe sort out for him.
Taylor nervously cracked his knuckles and slowly paced the floor as he waited for Shane to arrive. He was a lot more excited about this date than he thought he would be. He didn’t get to see Shane on campus and that just seemed to add to his nerves. His brain went into overdrive trying to figure out if he was going to cancel or not. Right around the time he was debating whether to call and cancel before Shane could, he received a text message from him saying how excited he was and couldn’t wait to see him tonight. All the nervous hippos running around in his stomach turned into butterflies. He felt ridiculous for being this excited about a date. But he was allowing himself to try to be optimistic. Isaac’s words kept replaying in his head. Hopefully if everything went well tonight, he’d have a happy call to make to him when he got in.
Taylor looked at the door when the doorbell ringing filled his ears. He hadn’t even realized that it was time for him to be there. He glanced at the clocked and understood why. It wasn’t. He was early. This was something he definitely wasn’t used to. He ran his hand through his hair and smoothed down his shirt. He took a deep breath before opening the door. He was greeted by Shane smiling, holding a rose.
"I’m not that gay," Taylor chuckled, pointing to the flower.
"I’m trying to impress you here," he defended a smile present on his face.
"Well, if I were a girl I would be," Taylor held out his hand, taking the flower from him. He brought it up to his nose and took a gentle sniff.
"That last gesture does nothing to disprove you not being a female," Shane chuckled.
"Ha-ha," Taylor stuck out his tongue.
"Ready to go?"
"I am," he sat the rose down on the table beside the door and grabbed his keys. Shane held out his arm for Taylor to link and he gladly did.
"Your chariot awaits sir," Shane extended his hand toward the sidewalk. Taylor couldn’t help but laugh at his ‘chariot’.
"It’s a cab," he laughed.
"My horse and carriage is in the shop," he teased.
"You realize I could have taken a cab to meet you wherever, and you could have saved yourself on the fare."
"It’s a date, Taylor," Shane smiled, rolling his eyes. "I’m supposed to pick you up…even if it is in a cab."
"Whatever you say Rico Suave."
"And don’t you forget it," he spoke opening the door. Taylor smiled, shaking his head. He wasn’t sure he’d ever been out with a gentleman. He wasn’t quite sure how to take it yet, but he was going to enjoy it for the time being.
"Is there anywhere in particular you’d like to go?"
"You don’t have this planned to a ‘T’? I’m offended."
"Oh no, I have it planned. I was just trying to be nice and get your input."
"Well, you asked me out not the other way around. So, please impress me with your mad dating skills."
"Okay," Shane chuckled. "Impress I shall," he quickly gave the address to the cab driver and they were on their way. They sat in a comfortable silence until the cab driver pulled in front of the restaurant.
"Um…are you serious?" Taylor questioned, slightly confused.
"Yep," Shane nodded his head.
"Why are we back here?" he asked, not making the connection with the address Shane had given the driver.
"You’ll see," he smiled paying the driver. They got out and began walking inside.
"This better be good," Taylor mumbled.
"Good is the least I am, and that’s on a really bad day," Shane smirked.
"Um," Taylor took a deep breath, a faint pink filling his cheeks. He hadn’t expected Shane to hear him. He wasn’t sure if he should be embarrassed by what he said or Shane’s response to what he said.
"Hey Tito,"
"What’s up Shane?"
"Not much. Who’s on tonight?"
"Presley, Murdock and Tims,"
"Wow…we picked a good night."
"Yea man, yall enjoy," he nodded. Taylor gave a polite smile, continuing to follow Shane.
"You do come here often. I thought he was going to give me a cavity search the way he kept looking at me suspiciously the other night while he was checking my I.D." Taylor replied causing Shane to laugh.
"Well it being a college town and somewhat close to a few of the campuses, they get a lot of fake I.D.’s,"
"Well, with men like him potentially doing harmful things to me for having said fake I.D., I think I’ll pass,"
"Probably a good idea," he spoke pulling his chair out for him.
"Thanks," Taylor spoke slowly before laughing slightly.
"You’ve never had anyone pull out your chair for you?"
"My mother. And I was four," he laughed.
"Well, there’s more where that came from," he smiled genuinely. Taylor returned the smile unable to think of a proper way to respond. He really wasn’t used to the whole ‘guy being a gentleman’ shit.
"So…why are we here? I mean you hang out here all the time, I know. And we were just here the other day," he questioned. He had assumed when he asked him they would go somewhere other than the same restaurant they were at just a few nights before.
"I wanted you to see something."
"What’s that?"
"Hope," he smiled.
"Who’s that?" Taylor asked confused.
"The virtue…the feeling of optimism you get…your positive outlooks on the future. That hope not an actual person," he chuckled.
"Oh…okay. Well, hope for what?"
"You’ll see," Shane chuckled.
"Okay," Taylor was even more confused. He tried to think of areas where he was lacking hope in, and none came to mind. And he couldn’t understand why he would even want him to have it about whatever it was he was referring to. He quickly dismissed it as their waitress took their drink order and gave them a few minutes to order. Unlike last time, he was kind of hungry. Although the thought of stuffing his face on a date wasn’t that appealing to him, the items on the menu were.
"So, how do you like it here so far?"
"Um…I like it a lot actually. California was my first choice and I think I would love it there, but I’m glad I’m someplace with all four seasons."
"All four seasons is attractive to you," Shane chuckled.
"You’re attractive to me. All four seasons is a perk," Taylor replied, smiling slightly. He was not a flirt under normal circumstances but being on a date, he assumed this was the time it was okay to be one.
"Glad I could help in your enjoyment of the city and your decision," Shane nodded.
"Not nearly as much as me,"
"Wow, you’re taking every opportunity."
"You keep throwing them down the middle. I keep hitting them out."
"And a baseball analogy. This just keeps getting better and better."
"Not really. I don’t really know anything about baseball."
"I think this date is over," Shane teased pretending to get up and leave.
"You’re a baseball fan?"
"I love it. I played baseball in high school."
"Why don’t you play here?"
"No time," he shrugged. Taylor motioned for him to continue. "My major is demanding."
"What is your major?"
"Pre-Pharmacy."
"Intense?"
"Yea and no. The job itself isn’t. It’s the learning all these drugs and their side effects. And keeping up with the drugs on the market. The drugs being tested. The drugs about to be approved or shut down. I mean, it is fun having a working knowledge of which drug combination of generic drugs can get me just as high as Loratab or Percocet, but I’m not a druggie so it really does me no good."
"How the crap did you get interested in that?"
"I used to be into drugs," he laughed causing Taylor to as well. "I was young though. Now I figure I can do some good with it. At least make an honest living."
"Where are you from?" Taylor questioned. He realized he had yet to really ask him any questions about himself. The only things he knew were things he had offered up after he asked Taylor a question.
"Nebraska."
"Nebraska?" Taylor held back laughter.
"What?"
"You’re a cornhusker."
"What’s wrong with that?"
"Nothing…I didn’t realize Nebraska had a large gay population."
"They don’t. Well, they do but most are in the closet or sneaking off to clubs to have anonymous anal sex," Taylor raised his eyebrows at what Shane had just said. "And that’s not speaking from personal experience but you’re one to talk Mr. Tulsa, Oklahoma."
"You got me there," he shrugged. They each smiled at each other before their attention was taken away by the waitress bringing their food out. They each said their thank you’s and began gladly digging into their food.
"This is part of what I wanted you to see," Shane spoke between bites as a musician made his way to the stage. Taylor slowed his eating and gave part of his attention to the man as he prepared himself. He didn’t make any introductions just stood at the mic with his guitar strapped on before he let the slow, jazzy melody come from his mouth. Taylor absentmindedly sat his eating utensils down, becoming enchanted by his raspy voice and his soulful lyrics of pain and heartbreak. He took notice of his smooth transitions from one song to the next, never really stopping for applause or to set up for the next song. He didn’t need to. He was telling a story. A story that Taylor couldn’t help but listen to. It was easy to follow and something he could relate to. He wasn’t sure how many songs he’d actually played, but soon he was playing the final notes on his guitar, expressing the final resolving lyrics of his vow to move on and live life.
"That was amazing," Taylor spoke in partial disbelief. It had been a long time since he’d heard music as soulful, poetic and honest as the musician that just left the stage.
"There are two more people left just as talented," Shane replied.
"I don’t know if I can take it," Taylor chuckled.
"So when you’re a Music Theory and Composition major, does that mean one has to be able to sing as well?"
"No, not necessarily," Taylor shook his head.
"Are you one of the ones who can or the not necessarily?"
"Um…yea, I do. I mostly did it for church. My brothers and I started this little garage band but…nothing serious ever came of it."
"Hmm," he nodded. "Is that why you don’t think it can happen to you? It didn’t once before so you just assume…"
"Well, I don’t really think it’s an assumption. I mean, if it were supposed to happen then it would have, right?" Taylor shrugged.
"Or maybe it still plans too," Shane replied, shrugging as well.
"Like I said," Taylor chortled. "I doubt that but I feel like as long as I’m in the music industry someway, somehow I’ll consider myself lucky."
"Did you want to be a singer?"
"Did I ever," Taylor laughed. "I was so ridiculous. My parents have these home movies of me and my brothers performing. There’s one where we’re at this mall. And I was singing lead and, I don’t know what got into me but, I was like pointing to the crowd. I was making love to the crowd. The whole nine. I mean, my testicles hadn’t even descended and I’m trying to make love to the crowd. We had a dance break. My younger brother forgot the moves. My baby brother, who is apparently part ninja because he comes out of nowhere and ends up on the stage. We still don’t know how he got there. But my older brother, Isaac, he’s dancing around him. And my younger brother, Zac, he finally picks him up and removes him from the stage. Now the baby is almost as big as Zac so it was a sight. Me on the other hand, I was not to be distracted because I was still making love to the crowd," Taylor spoke laughing. Shane couldn’t help but smile as he retold the story. His eyes lit up in an entirely different way as he recounted the me
mory and his enjoyment of performing. "Oh man, that was a good time. We were so excited and so naïve," he sighed.
"You really do miss it, don’t you?" Shane questioned noticing the melancholy enter his voice.
"Being young and naïve?" Taylor teased trying to lighten the mood. But it didn’t work. Shane knew better than to let him weasel out of it with jokes. He wanted to get to know him. Even the parts that were uncomfortable for Taylor to let him inside of. "A lot actually," Taylor finally admitted in a whisper. He took a quick drink of his water, feeling a think cotton ball form in his throat. "I’ve…I’ve never told anyone that before," he admitted his quiet tone unchanging. He hadn’t been that honest with anyone about his feelings on their failed music career, outside of his brothers, in a long time. He wasn’t even that specific or detailed but he felt he had revealed quite a bit of himself. He hadn’t expected it and he definitely wasn’t prepared. Shane touched his arm gently then slowly slid it down to his hand before interlacing their fingers. Taylor looked up reconnecting their gazes. He felt slightly uncomfortable with the admission but a stronger, overwhelming sense of relief covered him by the gesture.
"I’m glad you did," he smiled warmly at him. "I think you’re going to like him as well," Shane spoke nodding toward the stage as the next act came up. Taylor let out a soft sigh as his gaze remained on Shane. He didn’t understand him. There was no big shows or displays of what he had just revealed; no pressure or hassle for him to continue; no insistence or manipulative coercion for a display of affection; no guilty burden for a continued moment. The moment was there and he just let it be without feeling the need to make it anymore than what he needed. He was…considerate and compassionate. Two qualities that Taylor was sure he had never experienced.
He readjusted his fingers; giving Shane’s a light squeeze before returning his attention to the stage to another moving musician. Shane glanced at Taylor and gave a small smile before mimicking his actions.
~~~
"I’ve had an amazing time tonight," Taylor spoke leaning close to Shane so he could hear him over the music that was playing.
"Good," he replied before biting his lip. "I, um, kinda have a little bit of a surprise. Well, it’s a favor really."
"What?"
"I don’t want you to be mad," he gave his winningest smile.
"Oh no, what is it?"
"Well," he repositioned himself, making sure to keep the firm grip on his hand. "All the musicians that you heard tonight are signed to labels…"
"Okay," Taylor spoke not getting his point yet.
"But they also all started here," Shane could tell by the confused look on Taylor’s face that he should just continue instead of waiting for another encouraging response. "Well after they perform they let some of the local talent perform as well," Taylor sighed having the distinct feeling where his next few sentences were going. "I think you should perform."
"Do you?" he scoffed, shaking his head.
"I kinda signed you up to perform," he admitted causing Taylor to shoot him a look. He gave another over exaggerated, big smile causing Taylor to laugh slightly. "I’ve never heard you sing or play. I would like to. And…I think you would enjoy it."
"Do you now?"
"Yea," he nodded.
"Okay, fine," he shrugged.
"What? Really?" he questioned in disbelief at how easily he gave in.
"I’ve never been shy about playing or performing. If you had just asked me you would have known. You didn’t have to sneak and do it."
"Maybe this was my roundabout way of trying to get you to do it without needing to ask," he shrugged.
"I’ve put my foot in my mouth several times in front of you, but you’re afraid to ask me to do something that I’m completely comfortable with?" Taylor laughed.
"Good point," Shane replied back slowly, nodding his head.
"And I’d like for you to see me play," Taylor spoke sincerely.
"And I’d really like too…obviously," he laughed slightly.
"So how does this work?" Taylor smiled. Shane looked at Taylor, a smile very present on his face as well. He took in all his features and couldn’t find a single one he didn’t like. He took a quick, deep breath before finally explaining the process to him. Once Taylor felt he understood everything and didn’t have any more questions, he made his way to the side of the stage to give his name and the song he would be playing. They had offered to have someone play for him but he declined preferring to do it himself. He knew the things he liked to do during a performance, and it was hard to feed and improvise off someone whom you’d never played with.
Taylor took a deep breath as he approached the black baby grand piano that adorned the stage. There was nothing like sitting at the bench of a piano and letting his fingers glide across the black and ivory keys. A lot of times he didn’t have to even think about what he was doing, it just came naturally and he went with it; allowing him self to get lost in the music and take him wherever it wanted him to go. It always held the power to take him to magical and unknown destinations, and he never shied away from an opportunity to go there.
"Good evening everyone," Taylor spoke into the mic as he looked out into the crowd. He felt a little bit nervous with most of the eyes that were staring back at him being unfamiliar. But soon he caught the familiar blue ones that he was quickly getting used to looking into, and was immediately comfortable again. "There have been a lot of amazing musicians up here tonight. I’m honestly not sure how I’m going to follow them but I’m going to try. Hope you all enjoy," he finished as he began to allow his fingers to speak to them in a language he was sure everyone there spoke.
"I was born by the river," he began singing the smooth, soulful melody. "In a little tent, oh, just like the river I’ve been running ever since it’s been a long, long time coming but I know a change gon’ come. Oh, yes it will,"
Shane sat listening intently to the words Taylor sung. He was taken aback and surprised at the ease of which he performed; the way his words mumbled and jumbled together yet still managed to remain persuasive, the way he accentuated each moan perfectly, the way the passion which he felt for the song radiated off of him. He could feel it from where he was sitting. He played the final notes to the song, letting out a few more, well placed moans before he sung the final notes. Shane stood and clapped as Taylor stood from the piano and gave a modest ‘thank you’ before exiting the stage. Taylor gave a questioning shrug as he made his way back toward Shane.
"That was in-fucking-credible," Shane smiled, pulling him into a hug.
"Thank you."
"No, really. You don’t even understand how much I loved that," he spoke genuinely.
"I’m glad," Taylor smiled looking into Shane’s eyes. He returned the intensity of his gaze unsure of what move to make. He wanted to feel himself in his arms again. He wanted to feel his lips against him. Fears, insecurities, doubt and past aside, he wanted him.
"You ready to get out of here?" he whispered. And somehow despite the volume of the music and the low tone of his voice, he still managed to hear him. He didn’t even bother speaking, just nodded his agreement.
~~~
"Well, here I am again," Taylor spoke as they walked hand in hand up his sidewalk to his apartment door. They had decided to walk back to his place again instead of taking a cab. Taylor felt so comfortable in his own skin being around Shane and the simple act of his arm being over his shoulder, his arm around Shane’s waist. Neither bothered to speak much, letting the other person’s presence and gentle breathing be their comfort. And even when they had decided to use words, it somehow managed to be the sweetest thing their ears had heard.
"So it is," he spoke as Taylor turned to face him and lean against the wall. He smiled slightly watching Taylor play with their still interlaced fingers.
"I had a really good time," he spoke pulling his arms. Shane took the rest of the initiative and pulled him into a hug.
"So did I," he replied. He moved his head so they were looking into each other’s eyes again. "Really."
"We should do this again," Taylor whispered.
"Definitely," Shane smiled. He ran his tongue quickly over his lips before leaning in slowly. Taylor tried to steady his breath as he saw the beginning of what he had hoped would happen at several points throughout the night. Just as their lips were to touch, Shane gently turned his head and placed a soft kiss on Taylor’s cheek. "Goodnight Tay," he whispered, touching his forehead to Taylor’s.
"Goodnight Shane," he sighed.
"Call you tomorrow," he smiled backing away. Taylor gave a small smile and waved as he stepped to the curb to hail a cab. He waited in his open door while Shane got in his cab before finally going inside. He took a deep breath and leaned against the door. He hadn’t expected the last few weeks to play out like they had. And he definitely hadn’t planned on the night going in the direction it did. But what he hoped he could plan more of was Shane McKenna occupying his time. He chuckled to himself at how quickly his mentality changed about his relationship status and options. He could only blame Isaac. And he would the next time he talked to him. But right now, he wanted to enjoy the memories of, hopefully, the first of many good dates with Shane.