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Broken Inside

by Swarna (link)

Genre het, drama/angst, romance
Pairings Taylor/OFC
Length 28 chapters
Status Completed

From the beginning, Broken Inside seems like every bit the typical Middle of Nowhere era fanfic, with over the top drama that centers around a Mary Sue of a main character. While those things are true, there’s a little more to it than that, but only a little.

Like so many girls in old hanfics, Juliet suffered horrible abuse at home. After running away, she naturally falls right into the Hansons’ path, and while all three brothers feel something for her, it’s Taylor who immediately falls in love. While his character is interesting and his bond with Juliet rather touching, he doesn’t read like any seventeen year old boy I’ve ever known. Some of that, as well as some awkward phrasing, is probably down to the fact that English does not seem to be Swarna’s first language, but for the most part, the story doesn’t really suffer for that.

It does suffer, however, when it turns into a medical drama. While the details seem accurate enough, from what little I know, it feels a bit like an over-dramatized recital of an ER episode, and the adult characters (especially the doctors) sound childish. The moment when Juliet finally speaks again is still touching in spite of all of that, though.

Unfortunately, some needless drama involving Taylor’s accident and recovery drag on for too long and his reunion with Juliet goes by too quickly. Early chapters show that, in spite of a lack of polish, Swarna can write emotional and touching scenes. But somehow, by the end of Broken Inside, it’s all fallen apart a bit and doesn’t quite work for me.

Review by Bethany (website)