by Eva and Hayley (link)
Genre het, romance
Pairings Zac/OFC
Length 9 chapters
Status Unfinished
I went into this fic more or less blind; the summary Eva and Hayley provided for Cotton Candy should have been sufficient, but I still found myself a bit surprised by what was actually presented to me, in the very first and second chapters.
I will admit, that’s basically my own fault. But reading a fic where Zac has issues with his weight and spends the first chapter trying to get in better shape was really not what I needed right now, when his weight loss is such a big topic of conversation in the fandom. I also wasn’t especially fond of the way Eva and Hayley wrote him–particularly when it came to the biggest plot point, his hidden feelings for his best friend Tamara. His reasoning for not sharing those feelings with her wasn’t really understandable at all, and made him seem a bit creepy.
Most of the other characters weren’t much better, really. Had more of the story been written, Bridget might have developed and grown past her daddy issues. That did seem to be the actual planned plot, rather than the annoying love triangle between Zac, Tamara and Ben, none of whom were very likable. Of all the characters and relationships, I found Zac’s interactions with his slightly older coworker Casey to be the most interesting, and that clearly wasn’t intended at all.
It doesn’t help that the story is peppered with phrasings and word choices that don’t sound American at all. I know that can hardly be helped, without enlisting someone to Ameri-pick your fic, but it’s still very jarring to read. Between that and the somewhat unlikable characters, not to mention the fact that the fic was never completed… there’s more unrealized potential here than anything else. But mostly, I’m just left wondering where the title Cotton Candy was meant to come from!
Review by Bethany (website)